Wise words to calm the heart

feeling lighter of emotions..after i found this..

I AM THIS CLOSE TO BREAKING DOWN!!

i wanna cry; let me cry the whole day!
leave me in my bed!
i wanna cover my head with pillow!
i wanna talk to my pillow! i wanna cry!
CRY MY HEART OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANNA SCREAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

:'(((((((((((((((

 Allow me to present you with a sneak peak of my problems:

1. I wanna talk to my bestfriend, Suria. face-to-face. heart-to-heart. tears-to-tears!

2. I have to find a way to controlll my temper. Sadly, it has returned with a vengeance.

3. I need to plaster the holes of my dignity; sadly, i had shot it too many times. My own dignity.
I shot my own dignity. *hates myself*

4. I NEED to be my old self back!

5. I need to find a new houseeeeee! *stress habis meletop!*

6. I want to detach myself from the world. *sorry, correction. I NEED to detach myself from the world!

*sigh*

Allah. Allah. Allah. Allah. Allah. Allah :'( Allah..Allah..Allah...Allah...Allah...Allah

racist!

Salam alayk everyone.

*Urgh! dush 'backspace' button on the keyboard! stares at the screen fr 2 mins, tngok sini-sana, sambil gathering idea utk statement yg first2 ni!*

That is my usual routine i tell ya. Mmg slalu xda idea, tp the isi dh mmg siap karang dah dlm otak. Just lambat sikit nak buat entry yg awesome. Hopefully.

Anyways, 'racist'! Not going into the serious part of the topic; xda mood.
My post today will be based on a theory my brain had made me think.

Random*** 'I dont not want to be like everyone else! I wanna write what i think is right!'

Back to the topic; I have always wondered, if i had entered boarding school, will i be different? Will my personality be any different?

My answer is: Of course it would be different.

Come to think of it, Alhamdulillah, im glad my mum had never let me enter any boarding school; no matter how great they are. Undoubtly, they are awesome.

"Semua sekolah top2 dlm country beb!" kan, kan??

When I first started in INTEC, i had always felt inferior habis. I was like "OMG, why am i here? Bdk2 ni dr sek top2 kot, semua best student lagi. pernah dpt award dr menteri ni la mentri tu la" gasp!

Me? Im just another normal innocent student back in Assunta.
xdpt pn best student. x pn ketua pengawas ni ke tu ke. x pn any teacher's pet. x pn popular.
I was just your normal average Malay student yg dilabelkan as the tudung girls. Wah! =_=

*Little do ppl know, they are actually downgrading you with that title. : /

anyhow, I AM GLAD THAT I WAS FROM ASSUNTA!
why? because i learned how to compete with others, at the same time, i am used to not getting any attn to my achievement.

yes, stress nk dpt result baik2 iA, tp xda perasaan nk bgtau org lain. malas. asal my mum and nenek tau cukupla.
why? BECAUSE IM ALWAYS THE BACKSTAGE CREW! THE PPL BEHIND THE SCENE.
so what? :P i dnt mind.

*i think im way off topic*

do you get where im going with this? No :PPPP?

Well, here is what i think. Sometimes when you dont expose yourself from an early age of what the outside world is truly like, then you'd have a tough time adjusting yourself. This is why i had placed 'racist' as a title of my post. Most of the smartypants back in Assunta were non-Malays, and so i am used to that kind of competitive environment. This, i consider to be a minor test from the real world.

Will you ever grow having the same type of people around you all the time? At some point of your life, you'd have to learn how to socialize! Eka Irina are you paying attn to this?!

I actually dnt know why i am writing this in the first place, ppl might have their their own views on this matter. I cant agree more, BUT this is my point of view, and i just want to voice it out.

Salam alayk.
mood: *blur*