The first week of the fourth semester :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim :)
A shoutout first is required for my sisters: Kak Anisah and Kak Pain! It's their birthday today :D
There are in my usrah family from the first day I entered IMU. I can still remember the day of our first meeting :') Friday afternoon, in the quiet vast IMU Auditorium. Where it was only us and the cleaning lady. Away from the hecticness that is always covering the IMU floor grounds.


Alhamdulillah. Im in my 4th semester now..still a long way to go~
I am really worried of what is to come. More exams, PMS application..all that educational/intellectual decisions. *haha* [an inside joke]

Anyways, its 3.36pm right now and my class starts at 4, so Im taking a bit time out to just write out the words that are floating in this minute brain of mine.

Sometimes, you feel really blessed, when you suddenly out of no where came to a realization of the right thing that you are supposed to be performing in this world. I dont really know how to say it in words..its like..those moment when you feel as if Allah is slowly trying to scrape of the dirt on the surface of your heart, so that it can be pure again.
Something like that..

Well, I had came into a realization actually, that in this life, you must constantly..CONSTANTLY struggle to be the best Muslim you can be, because in any moment you may be taken away from this dream (the world).
It doesnt matter if you are moving at your own short pace, because He doesn't only look at results, but also the journey and QUALITY of your EFFORT. MasyaAllah. All these time, all the ibadah and the time you had spend for Him, was it from pure 'Ikhlas'?

I reflected back on myself...

So, I came up with 3 main "guidance" on how to make myself a better person.

1. Jaga solat! :) Be on time dear Eka!

2. Ikhlas, ikhlas, ikhlas :) Ikhlaskan hati. Purify your niat

3. Spend at least an hour a day to learn more about Him, Rasulullah and Islam :)

Till next time, insyaAllah :)InsyaAllah, I hope to have strong istiqamah to fulfill these "guide" every single day of my life. Please do pray for me, amin :)

2nd day Posting

Are you ready? *pfft*

Well, the morning started off with CME or Continuous Medical Education. This is where there would be a presentation of either new or improved medical knowledge of all sorts of sub-fields.

After that, we straight away went to Ward 7B (continuing with our ward rounds). Today we decided to follow a different doctor instead. Dr.Mithra! *During the first day, the head nurse told us that 2 specialist is in charge of the ward, Dr.Rosmaizah and Dr. Mithra. She also told us that Dr.Mithra is the fierce one!! She explicitly said "Dr tu boleh buat Houseman menangis!" ERKKKK!! wowh! Tht's why we decided to follow on with Dr. Nurul yesterday *The HO that walks around with Dr.Rosmaizah.*

Today, we met with Dr. Jayan. He's super awesome indeed. He is still a houseman. He follows Dr.Mithra around. At first we hesitated, but then Dr. Jayan insisted that we follow along. ALhamdulillah, that was the best decision we made that morning. Not only we got to meet with new patients from the other half of the ward, Dr.Mithra herself is suuuupppeeerrrr awesome! She is strict, yes, but her teaching was like *jaw-drops* WOW! WOW, I TELL YA! AT THE END OF THE DAY, ALL OF US FELL IN LOVE WITH HER! SHE WAS JUST, THAT GOOD!
*smilesssssssss wideeeeeelyyy*

We learned a lot today, and certainly need to revise up on other facts that we learned. I love being posted at Internal Medicine! At least, the language and phrases can be easily picked up!
Plus, Dr.Mithra checks her patients very thoroughly! She even performs PE on almost all of her patients!

There was this one super interesting neuro case, of which Dr.Mithra does the Neuro PE, and all of us observed. *drools upon her awesomeness*

I certainly wanna be as good as her. She is amazing at picking up the smallest details. She is also highly concerned of all of her patients. She rejects unnecessary medications and test that is to be done on a patient. She thinks clearly before ordering a test, or repeating a test, or administering a medication.
She does not like to waste government money on unnecessary things as said. Wow. I mean, other doctors would simply wanna be on the safe side and start off on all different test just so that they would not miss anything. Her method was trying to get the full picture of the patient first and their vitals before any further investigations.

I have got a lot to learn right now. Signing off! :)
Dr. Eka Irina Akma (InsyaAllah, amin)

First Day of Elective Posting in Hospital Serdang

achoooo!!! achoooooo!!! haaaaaaccccchhhhooowwwwww!!!
that's like the sound of me sneezing away!
Ya Allah, I seriously dont know why Im like SUDDENLY sneezing all evening I tell ya!
After tirelessly "working" from 8-5; the last thing I need is a sudden drop in my immune system, wow.

Anyways, Alhamdulillah! Survived first day of actually learning something in Hospital Serdang!. Well, Im not literally saying that my experiences being "exposed" to other hospital was ttly useless, NO! They are certainly valuable, and I am planning to use this posting as wise as possible! Yes! Like my last rotation was at Hospital Gombak (a hospital catering for aborigin people; Orang Asli)..that, was an eye-opener. Especially having Dr. Soh as the attending lecturer, wow! She like to drill, man. She loves to make other people feel awful about themselves and Im not excluded from it. At first i thought her 'strict-ness' was good, in a sense that it pushes you to become a much better individual. Though after three days with her, *=="* she ttly put me into tears because it feels as if the medical profession is not cut out for me. I really felt like quitting. I wanted the time to just stop for a while so that I can really figure out where I am today.

Well, now..all I can say is ALHAMDULILLAH for where I am right now, I might not be able to figure out exactly what tomorrow holds, but I can certainly hold on to the forever-existing Allah the Almighty, for He holds tomorrow!

Anyways, I just want to post this up, insyaAllah everyday of my posting. This is my first day of like real posting, so I apologize if the information is not perfect here, I certainly didnt clerk any patients today, thoroughly. These are just some of the patients that were observed during the ward rounds.
*I got posted at the Internal medicine ward*

1st pt of the day; died by the end of the day *sad*
A 90Yo pt having sepsis secondary to Acute Kidney Injury(AKI) due to CAP *i think its CAPD* Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis.
from her ECG reading, it was reported hat she also had Atrial Fibrillations (AF) and her heart rate was around 150bpm. The rhythm was clearly irregularly irregular. After doing blood culutre; she was foud to be =ve of S. aureus(aerobes) and P.mirabilis(anaerobes). Urine culture showed a large colony of E.coli.
The pt had sign a form of NAR (non-Active resuscitation) *wow*

When we visited her bed, she looked very fragile and was sort of gasping for air, she was on a venti mask of 60% O2. We did not manage to try and talk to her due to language barrier and her old age. Plus, by that time, the dictirs had started their ward rounds so we decided to follow with that instead.

Luckily, during the ward rounds, we met our super senior; graduated in 1998 and is currently pursuing part-time at the govnmnt hosp as a GI specialist. He was super awesomely nice and relaxed! He was never tired of talking to us, he even admitted that he talkes a lot. Indeed he did ==". Anyways, I was very pleased with his teaching. Fater this, I will be off, finding/reading up some information of the things that he had taught us. InsyaAllah.

Our second pt was a 70Yo chinese female with Lung Cancer. We saw her CXR and it had clear opacities on both lung fields and a few rounded lesions visible near her left lung. *Gotta brush up my CXR reading; hehe*
Dr. Paul :) explained to us all about Assisted Ventilation of which the patient was using.

Did you know that the machine is in charge by the anesthesiologist? wow right! She was using a non-invasive Respiratory Machine which was usually given in pt who are 'awake' or not sedated for any reason. The pt had also a case of COPD because her heart clearly looked enlarged too.
Anyways, the pt was placed on a machine known as BiPAP (Bilevel Positive Airway pressure) which means the machine assisted in both her inspiration and expiration. Unlike the invasive respi assistance; this machine does not FULLY control her breathing, it just gives a slight pressure and maintains them during expiration. Dr. Paul described them as like when you out your head outside a moving car. So like, the air from the machine hits your face *mouth and nose area* and pushes air into it. That is why the mask needed to be fully and tightly placed onto her face; using velcro that is. It looked quite uncomofrtable, but hey, if it makes her feel better than that's no harm :)

The administration of a ventilation assistant is typically done after reading the Arterial Blood Gas (ABG) *another topic that needs to be studied again*. Dr, Paul explained that ABG is only reliable when the blood is taken from the artery instead of veins due to the difference in oxygen concentration and after reading a glimpse of the procedure on my trusted Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine only did I understood what he was saying, as the process itself was tedious. Pheww.
Anyways, he also said that usually ABG needs to be run on a routine basis for some pt and they ususally do not take arterial blood as poking a needle into your artery for more than once or twice can eventually lead to a development of pseudoaneurysm. Again, wow. Knowledge that you'd only get either from experience or extra reading. Anyhow, ABG is almost always used as an indicator of the treatment efficacy of BiPAP.

Our third pt was admitted due to pleural effusion. After much digging and investigations of course, the doctors had managed to detect liver cirrhosis! Wow, again *blah!*
One of the complications of cirrhosis is pleural effusion, though on of my lecturers had said that is is sometimes quite rare.
Trully its not straight froward I'd say! Dr. paul explained to us that in some pt who has congenital defect of the diaphragm and development of the compartments of the body, a passageway may be formed. Ascites by the lievr cirrsosis may seep into the pleura, as such in the case of this pt. This is especially exaggerated when the pt is lying down flat.
Dr. Paul then explained to us all bout NASH (Non Alcoholic Steato Hepatitis) which was an old term for NAFLD (Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease) <-- I learned this term.
Basically, NASH is a spectrum of a development of disease ranging from a just 'normal' Steatosis' of which most people might have *due to diet and so forth eg.diabetis*
The problem is right now is at the otehr end of the spectrum of which you have Steatohepatitis where the collection of fat causes inflammation of the liver. Till now, there is ongoing research of why this occured in some individual while others remain pretty healty with minor liver steatosis. An interesting topic I'd say.
Its somewhat similar *in terms of the pattern of development* to cancer. But please bear in mind that it is not Cancer. Sme ppl can be very sensitive with that word. Unnecessary scared-ness.

Anyhow, I have come to the end of this post. Really tiring I'd say today was, but I am certainly looking forward of what tomorrow holds! InsyaAllah Im going to be learning how to take blood sample tomorrow. *haha, crawling in clinical; I know!*

Im hoping to meet more of super awesome cooperative nice doctors tomorrow to help me in my learning process.

Till then, Salam alayk everyone :)

p.s: my apologies for any mistakes written here. This is basically most of the things that I have written into my notebook. Sorry if there is any mistakes of grammar or wrong usage of terms. TQ!

Crawling at my own pace.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

1. Alhamdulillah, I passed my 2nd Professional Exams; and im on my way onto my 4th and 5th semester. Feeling a bit anxious, clueless and very unprepared. I am currently still in the holiday mode. This is going to be the last week of my "break". So, im going to try and make full use of it by finishing at least a book by tis week. *When I say book on hols; I mean non-academic-medical-related books...ya know what I mean!*

2. Alhamdulillah, my cousin is going to be the first one #ofmygeneration to get married! :) He studied in Morocco and is now an Ustaz. Currently pursuing Masters and is officially engaged with a 25-yr old doctor. #Partlyhappyforhimandundeniablypartlyjelous.hehe.
Anyways, what I want to highlight here is that, he is getting married through "Baitul Muslim Services" or in other words; 'orang tengah'. wow. I was amazed by him, because so far I have only read it in books and through chats with other usrah sisters, but I have yet experienced my own family member using this 'service' I would say. I personally am on the same side as him, I support his noble action by doing it through the right medium, which is why I am Alahmdulillah genuinely happy for him. Congratulations brother :)
#wondering who's gonna be next in the family. HAHA =.="

3. Please pray for my sister, she is currently feeling a bit under the weather. #Stay strong dear sis!

4. I am really missing my best friend, Suria! So far, I havnt been able to get to see her. I know she is all busy with studies, as it is her turn to sit for her professional exams. I wonder how she is coping? Hurm..

5. In par with the title of my post for today, I am feeling slightly angry at myself. Why am I so slow..
I am like the tortoise in the "Rabbit&Tortoise race". Yup. Slow. Slow. S>L>O>W.
I am slow in my Islamic rootings.

Imagine: Hidup kita ni macam sebatang pokok. Well at least we all started similarly to a seed. We are then nurtured with water and light and heat which is somewhat equivalent to love and knowledge that is poured onto us as we are growing up. Once we have fully developed our first branch of root, we would then start to venture out insearch of more knowledge (water). We then process these water and minerals into food which in turn used to build up new cells and maybe grow beautiful flowers on our branches. Likewise, the knowledge that we have obtained is processed by our head to be turned into real practices in our daily routine. So that the flowers will be our Iman and akhlak. That is our real beauty.

For me, I have yet to actually grow strong roots myself. Because I am slow, undeniably slow.
#Speechless.
What am I going to do? Should I accept this as myself? Is this who I really am?

6. I have lots of plans for this week and hopefully it could all be done before my posting starts. InsyaAllah.


May He grants all of us with Sakinah. #Isureneedone.

50;50 This is it!

Oh my! Today's the day. The day that I will be getting my results.
None but only He knows how I will spend my days after this. SubhanAllah. How helpless; after striving; shedding tears and sweat, finally today has come.

Evrytime I talk about result, I swear my stomach would have a funny feeling, my heart beats faster and my whole body feels cold. Huh :'/ Pls lets just put that aside for a moment.


I wanna tell you about my usrah session yesterday. I love my usrah :)
Yesterday was my turn to give tazkirah :D *psst, dnt tell anyone, but I personally love giving tazkirah* haha! funny right? I really do like sharing my knowledge with others who are willing to listen to me.
and that is one of the beauty of usrah; it allows you to build confidence and detect your weakness in public speaking. I mean where else would you find a crowd whose intention is only the best for you!

Anyways, yesterday I presented a lovely story which I had found here --> Read me! :)

I love this story; you can really extract many good morals out of this short story. To me; it reflects back to myself. AFter doing a few more research for my tazkirah, I stumble upon this message:

"You can read up to 10 pages of Quran per day; that's good. Though, after you have closed the Quran, can you explain to other people at least an ayat of what you have read?"

SubhanAllah; *PANG!!* tembak terus ke jantung! haha! *reflect back to yourself too*

My tazkirah then ended wth a hadith that I personally love:

The Devil [Iblis] said, “If I am successful in persuading man to do three things, then that will be all I need: 


◕ To make forget his sins. 
◕ To regard his good deeds as too many.
◕ To be proud of his own opinion."


[Dirar ibn Murrah] 

Amazing hadith isn't it? I was really touched by the last point:

"to be proud of his own opinion"

SubhanAllah, trust me, I personally have seen people whom I knew of before to be humble, but when many people started seeking her opinion for almost all educational matters, she became egoistic and it was visible through her actions. *looking at a mirror*

Yup, I was one of them. After reading this hadith; I felt like crying. Hating myself of what I have become.

His (Allah) servants are always confronting one of these two tribulations. Either wealth/good life or a disaster. I was tested with a good life ; Alhamdulillah but IT FEELS AS IF i HAVE FAILED. Certainly.
I have forgotten where I came from. I had forgotten how to respect other people.

I had forgotten to "treat others like how you want them to treat you". MasyaAllah.








ALhamdulillah, over time after the discovery of that hadith, I started to ponder upon myself, trying hard to reflect and change myself often. I still am trying till now, which is why I think they said Istiqamah is a journey of a long and rough road. Though you must never be astray/deviate from the path itself.

Huh; alhamdulillah I have this platform to say what I feel and let others who cares knows how I feel and my view on certain things. I am certainly not right always, so please dear readers, correct me if im wrong; for I have only YOU to be with me :')


Alhamdulillah; that will be all for now.
Please make dua for my results.

p.s: ILY too sister Suria :))